I didn’t watch the Oscars, partially because I was kicking ass at darts at my favorite Sunday evening taco bar, partially because I don’t own a TV, and partially because I don’t watch many movies. I am not good at it. I know the only discipline it takes is to sit still and keep your eyes open, but that is a little challenging for me. I prefer talking, moving, sleeping, or just about anything else.
I did, however, manage to see The Artist and I loved it. I thought it was perfect. It is like that middle bite of a sandwich where all the ingredients meet in one, perfect bite. It is like being able to lay on the floor and listen to Neutral Milk Hotel’s In an Aeroplane Over the Sea from start to finish uninterrupted. It was like getting the “Bank Error, Recieve $20” card in Monopoly. It was really, really good is what I’m saying.
Now that it has won these awards…these so called “Oscars”, people are freaking out because the actors are French. Come on, America. We gave Adele ALL of the Grammy’s, and she’s British. BRITISH! You know who else is British? CHRIS MARTIN! Which automatically makes all British people scary and terrible. But French people on the other hand seem delightful in color or black and white. They tap dance and look excellent while smoking. Awards all around.
That’s all I have to say about that.
So stop complaining (if you are. If not, still-) and enjoy this clip from For Your Consideration. Christopher Guest nails it, every time.